Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Amateur Night is Coming .............

Saturday Night. New Years Eve. The annual event where people who have been good all year for Santa, sneak out while he's recouping from his Christmas jet lag and misbehave.

New Years Eve is always a Cluster *#@^ in the ER. I've worked all but one of the last 14 New Years in the ER and there is always something to laugh about.

Generally, (and I hope I don't jinx myself here) New Years is a suprisingly quiet night. There's always one or two goofy bastards who wind up being drug in by some concerned friends for "Alcohol Poisoning". Lightweights who get carried away and pass out early and resist all attempts to get them off the floor.

Once in a great while, these folks really are in need of someone to maintain an airway for them as they try to pull a Jimi Hendrix and choke on their own vomit. Not to often though, thankfully. Mostly they piss on themselves and snooze quietly in a warm puddle of their own making.

ER people fear the "Post Midnight MVA" most of all. That's when some drunk turns their 2001 Mustang GT into a 3000lb not so smart bomb and successfully targets another driver at high speed. Ugly shit happens then.

The drunk driver rarely dies. Darwin is funny about that one. I've heard lots of theories about why that is, but I don't know if I believe any of them.

If you're going out New Years Eve. Have a driver, take a cab or don't drink if you're gonna drive. Simple.

Heck, walk if it's convenient and close. Or better yet - Stay Home. Back when I played in Bands, NYEve was a big night. Big money and lots of tips. Most of us needed the money then too. But even we were afraid of the drive home after seeing so many stupid asses getting falling ass down drunk and stumbling off to the parking lot. I still shiver at that picture.

Be cool and Be safe. I don't want to meet you in the ER, OK?

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