I'll Bet it Splattered Like Bacon Too ...........

What do you get when you cremate a 600 pound Fat Ass? A Grease Fire. I love this line - "Firefighters rarely see these kind of fires." One would hope not.

But hey - "The crematorium is back in business and the funeral director said they'll notify the family to assure them their loved one wasn't harmed." Except for the fact that his fat ass is burned to a (larger than usual) pile of soft, fluffy ash. Not counting the part that got scraped up off the floor, of course.

600 pounds of LongPig would make a hell of a cookout. Think how many Haitians that would feed.

Somebody should tell Sally Strothers about this untapped protein source. Oh, wait a minute. Detective Robert Thorn already has. My Bad.