Wednesday, March 03, 2010

The March of the Penguins..........

No, not what you think. I'll explain in a minute.

Late Monday night, early Tuesday morning I was awakened from sleep with extreme abdominal cramps. Sort of a, "Holy Shit. WTF is going on here?" kind of discomfort. Very unusual and not at all nice.
As I sat doubled over on the side of the bed, I had an epiphany and realized just what was happening.

And I made a mad dash to the bathroom.

And just in time, too. WHOA NELLYYYYYY!!!!
Seems I picked up a bit of the nasty little stomach bug that's been going around here lately. We've been seeing a lot of this in the ER the last week or so and damn if I wasn't lucky enough to provide host services for the nasty little critter in my GI tract.

I'll spare you the graphic details except that they must not have liked it there and decided that an emergency evacuation, En Mass would be a damn fine idea at, O dark thirty in the morning.
Something like this -

With my ass being Hiroshima.

The USA ended WWII by only dropping 2 nukes on the Japanese.
The nasty little Gut Bugs that were attacking me were not that nice and seemed determined to wipe my ass from the face of the earth.

OK. Sometimes you get an illness. I understand this. Being around sick MoFo's all the time probably increases the likelihood of it, too.

Yes I wash my friggin hands.
A lot.

The problem was I had to work yesterday and the thought of being 2 steps to slow to the bathroom was terrifying.

But things settled down somewhat and off to work I went.

I made a mad preemptive dash to the nearest restroom every time I even thought I may have to fart.
There would be no way a guy would ever live with shitting your scrubs at work.
Seppuku would be the only honorable recourse in a case like that.

Thankfully, things slowly improved as the day went on.
I was bitching to Mr McCool, my Xray guru coworker about all this and he's the one who inspired the title for this post.

See how I did that?
I learned that from reading Dave Barry columns.

Anyways, his advice was, "Don't fart, Dude. And if I see you doing the March of the Penguins I'll know that you didn't listen to me!"
He of course said this as he was waddling away down the hall laughing.

I almost shit myself laughing and I'm pretty sure that's what he was trying to achieve.
It almost worked.

Things are better today so that's a plus.

Gratuitous Picture for a Wednesday-


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