Free Medical Advice..........

(#5) Never, ever leave flashlights, shampoo bottles, beer bottles or any long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it and it will somehow, work its way up your rectum.

(#125) Don't allow someone with a known poorly controlled seizure disorder to perform oral sex on you...

No, Really. Anyone who has ever worked in an ER can tell you that. This advice comes from here:
http://www.geekpress.com/

Unfortunately, the link to the original site, a medical student discussion board, is nonfunctional. Bummer.