Monday, April 16, 2007

WMD's Discovered in My Bathroom ............
This is not good. I got up early hoping to get some "HoneyDo's" done and then taking a ride on the BigBluePlasticKawasaki later.

As they say "No plan survives first contact with the enemy". The enemy in this case being my Intestinal Tract.

Holy Shit. If Saddam Hussein had had the shits like this, our troops would still be in Kuwait and he and his boys would still be living happily in Baghdad.

I'm not sure what the hell kinda fucked up, Zombie Virus I've been infected with. I'm thinking I should make sure the Wife has a pistol with her today in case I start wanting to Zombie out and become a Flesh Eating Ghoul like a character from "Night of the Living Dead."

Of course, she's too nice for her own good and wouldn't pre-emtively blast my brains out just for trying to bite a hunk out of her leg or some shit. No, I'll have to tell her that if this shit makes me go full Zombie Mode and I start in, wanting to eat warm, human flesh, she'll have to blast my brains out and then put one in her head too.

If more women watched George Romero flicks, they'd know this kinda shit.
Of course, being my wife, she knows this already.

Unless she likes the idea of being an Undead Zombie. And if that's the case, she may just end up in the ER looking to scam a prescription of Percocet. Because that's what the Zombies I know do.
Anyway, I don't think I'll be riding the motorcycle today. But you can be sure she'll have me workin' on the honey-do list.

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