Thursday, October 27, 2005

Uncle Wilbur...........

My Grandmothers, older Brother and an extremely cool person. Wilbur was literally, "Blind in one and can't see out of the other". He lost the majority of his sight when he was in his 30's from Diabetes.

Years ago, while in High School, I'd take off on a weekend and head South to grandma's' house. Wilbur lived a few blocks away, so I always made a point of dropping in to see him.

Even if he couldn't see me.

Rimshot! OK, that was lame, but he'd have laughed at it. Like I said, Wilbur was cool.

One of the earliest memories of Wilbur goes like this..........
Dad and Mom, with the (then) 3 boys in the the old '59 Chevy going to grandma's' house. Driving into town, Dad sees Wilbur crossing the street ahead of him. Dad, being the good nephew, honks and waves as he drives by. Wilbur, being blind, raises his white cane with the red tip and hollers - "Blow it out your ass, you dumb Son of a Bitch!!". Dad, realizing what just happened, busts out laughing. Mom, starts bitching.

Wilbur played baseball on some industrial teams in the early years of the last century. He was a big guy. 6'- 5" or so. If I remember right, he pitched and played first base. He must've been pretty good, because he was on a traveling team for a few years.

He had a near perfect memory. I'm sure that being blind helped him develop that trait. He could tell me every address he'd ever lived at, name of every fellow ballplayer, score of every game and who pitched. Anything. It was amazing.

He had a glass eye. As a kid, that intrigued me no end. He took it out and showed it to me once and I about shit.

To give you an idea of his sense of humor, how's this......

We're at grandma's' all having dinner. My Dads' sister Dorothy is sitting next to Wilbur. Dorothy, is a strange, "Nervous Type" and jumpy as hell. Always was. Wilbur takes his eye out, puts it in his spoon and drops it down into his soup. He looks at Aunt Dot, while pulling it out of the bowl and asks - "Dot, what's this in my soup?" Dot has an immediate case of the vapours and screams. Falls over backwards, pisses her pants and passes out cold. Wilbur wipes his eye off on his pants and puts it back in and acts like nothing ever happened. He was probably 75 or 80 years old at the time.

Yep, Wilbur was the coolest.
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